The early teenage years are one of the most critical times in a young person’s life. This is the moment when parents begin to transition from being helicopter pilots to co-pilots with their children. At FOSI, we have long maintained that these are the years when the major conversations arise about social media, rules, consequences and safety. This is also when children need to hear from their parents: “If anything goes wrong, come to me. I won’t freak out. This is a safe place.” That kind of trust is worth more than any setting or filter.
That’s not to say that tools don’t matter. In fact, tools can make all the difference. Google’s Family Link, a parental control app that helps manage kids’ digital habits across devices, and YouTube’s Supervised Experience, a set of settings that allow parents to tailor content and features to teens and tweens, for example, are powerful and much-needed resources. But here’s the challenge: Most parents are dealing with multiple kids, each at different ages, each using different apps and devices. Instead of forcing parents to dig through settings menus and tutorials, imagine being able to ask an AI assistant like Gemini or ChatGPT to set up controls for you, tailored by age, app and device. That’s where it’s headed, and frankly, that’s what families deserve.
We need to draw a clear line between general prohibitions and well-thought-out restrictions. Across Europe and the US, there has been growing support for broad rules, such as saying that no one under sixteen should have access to social media. While I understand the instinct, blanket bans often create a false sense of security. Kids will still encounter risks, still find solutions, and many really need access to devices, even for something as simple as a last-minute change in a school pickup. Thoughtful restrictions, developed in consultation with parents, schools and communities, are far more effective because they give teenagers both protection and a sense of agency.
What works better is to give teenagers some agency and involve schools and parents together in making restrictions that make sense. If you don’t feel your child is ready for social media, by all means keep them off. But if they do use it, let’s make sure it’s done responsibly and with guidance.
This is where well-being scores matter. It’s not just about how much time a child spends online, but how they spend that time. There is a big difference between 30 minutes of mindless scrolling on devices and 30 minutes of a video chat with a grandparent. We all spend more time on screens today because our lives are on our devices and at our fingertips. During the COVID-19 pandemic, teenagers repeatedly said that the Internet saved them. Gaming became a lifeline for social interaction. Online forums offered safe places to explore identity or find others who loved the same music or shared common interests. These experiences can expand horizons in ways that geography cannot.
Of course, restricting access too much risks shutting teenagers out of these valuable experiences. At the same time, the young people are clear about what they want: more support to use technology safely, more help to navigate AI and structured training in schools. And this is where the ground shifts under our feet.
AI has swept through classrooms faster than any other technology I can remember. Teachers use it to create lesson plans, children use it to learn and experiment, and even university professors use it for research assistance. No one has set a clear path yet. That’s why we need to keep teachers, parents and politicians together in the room, and more importantly, bring teenagers into that conversation. Let them help shape the systems and supports they will actually use.
I applaud efforts such as digital skills and AI education programs. They are off to a strong start. However, we must be aware of who creates the content. When materials come directly from industry, they can understandably reflect the company’s perspective or ecosystem. Parents and teachers deserve to know that standards are impartial and ideally developed with guidance from governments or education ministries. Technology companies have an important role to play, but independent frameworks are essential to building trust.
So where do we go from here? My advice is simple:
- To politicians: Put safety back at the center. The next time you gather for a global AI summit, make sure security is not just mentioned, but in the name and on the agenda.
- For teachers: Band together. Share lessons and create standard rules of the road so students hear consistent guidance across classrooms.
- For parents: Keep talking. Teenagers tell us that their biggest frustration is not too many rules, but not being able to get their parents’ attention. Don’t let your own devices distract you from them.
Europe tends to be more cautious, the US faster in adoption. Both can learn from each other, but one lesson spans cultures and centuries. Socrates, master of questioning, shaped minds, not through prohibition, but through dialogue. Perhaps we should borrow from his class circles as we build our digital ones.
Because in the end, wisdom comes from conversation, whether it’s in a semi-circle at school or at the kitchen table between a parent and a teenager.